Friday, January 23, 2015

1,000 straw pick up: an honest conversation about control and frustration

I miscalculated how into straws 
my littles were going to be.
I set some out in a milk glass vase.
Soon, handfuls at a time went missing.
They used them for play dough, 
for drinks, 
for bathroom "fun",
for arrows (lots and lots of arrows), 
and for chew toys.

I was swimming in straws. 
And yet, I didn't put them out of reach. 
I continued to pick them up when I found them in odd places, and I'd smile about the kid's creativity with a plastic straw. 

It didn't feel important for me to control. 
A set of verses have been popping up over the past few days, and I'm thinking that means I need to pay attention.
Don't you love when that happens?!?

If you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 
Romans 12: 8-10

Man oh man, it's just chocked full of intense...hard stuff. 
That I NEED to seep into my bones and become a part of me.

I've been noticing my frustration towards my little Dean and Vivi increasing this past week. It comes and goes really. Most of the time, if all is well in the rest of my life, I can smile and pick up straws without batting an eye. But, when things are hard (and man for some reason transitions just are for me) I find all of the little kid nuances to be grievances towards me. 
Really, it becomes all about me. 
Imagine a two year old running the show and you'll get a pretty close idea to the way I look and sound sometimes.
Which, in case you're wondering, doesn't lead to roses and laughter.
And I know in my heart it's high time this distorted frustration went...for good really.
Really love them.
Hate what is wrong.
Hold tightly to what is good.
take delight in honoring each other

My first instinct is to do more things to make this right. 
Wear a reminder, plastering my walls with mantras/affirmations/verses, and really working hard at this.

And then I'm reminded of this sweet truth:

 9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9, 10

My hope is that you dig into the Bible this weekend and seek answers to your struggles. My prayer is that you're honest with yourself about your own weaknesses, dear reader, and you seek the Lord for answers. 
My prayer is that you meditate not on instagram or blogs or facebook, but on the living word of the Lord. 
Because it will bring you life and truth. 

Enjoy your weekend and see you Monday! 

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