Friday, March 28, 2014

why I gave up diamonds, a girl's best friend

Tonight I'm going to get proposed to (again) by my soul mate. He's going to get on bended knee (I hope!) and offer me rings made of CZ.
And I couldn't be more excited.
Let me tell you how and why I jumped off the diamond band wagon.
>>>.<<<
“The reason you haven’t felt it is because it doesn’t exist. What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.” — Don Draper, Madmen

>>>.<<<

When D and I were dating, I had no real ideas of what my wedding would look like...except I knew I wanted flowers in my hair and bare feet under my dress. I certainly didn't have an idea about what I wanted my ring to look like. It wasn't something I thought of...until we got closer to our engagement. 
One simple internet search showed me I had options...lots of them. 
And let me say this: seeing all the sparkles made me swoon. 
I went ring browsing at a few stores, and I searched for hours online until I found the "style" that best fit me. I wanted bands of sparkle. No obvious engagement ring, but two bands with lots and lots of modern sparkle. 
D and I found "the ring", he bought it, and stored it away until the time was right. Before he proposed to me, I'd sometimes (in secret) find the ring and wear it around. I loved that thing...my precious. I planned to pair it with a cz eternity band and loved the way they fit together. After he proposed, I had the engagement ring sized to fit my finger best. 

Fast forward a couple of years of ring wearing bliss. To the moment when I lost my first stone. Let's all take a moment of silence for that long lost diamond. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was a second grade teacher at the time, D picked me up from school, I glanced down as I got into the car and saw the dark spot in my ring. I nearly cried. 

Then came the years of "hiding" that spot, and feeling shame about the hole. I'd slide the ring over to cover the small gap and looked disappointingly at that spot often 

(probably way too often, ya'll). 
Then it happened again. This time I was eating lunch at our house in Kentucky, looked down  and saw...another diamond was out. I scanned the floor, found the little guy, and stuck it in a plastic baggie. It's still there today. 

We never got the ring fixed because there were always other better ways to spend money. Buying a new diamond seemed frivolous.
And after that second stone fell out..I was over it. I didn't want to feel that cruddy about an accessory ever again.

I'm sharing all this to for a few reasons. 
1. I'm tired of feeling shame. It's an accessory. Period. Yes it was given to signify my sweetheart's commitment to me, but here's the thing- the ring broke and our commitment hasn't. 


 2. My heart got wrapped up in the wrong things and I see it now. If I think back on all the time I spent thinking about buying the ring, wearing the ring in secret, and feeling bad about the brokenness...well, I'm a bit ashamed really. 
It's certainly not how I was raised or how I want to raise my little ones. 

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3

 4. It was a pre-Don Draper marketing ploy. Read about it here and here. And let's not even go down the blood diamond controversy road. 

 5. I don't want Vivian and Dean to blindly follow my footsteps on this one. I've already touched on this briefly, but here's the thing...our original diamond engagement ring wasn't the best path for me. Do I think it's wrong for everyone? Umm, surprisingly no. I just don't want them to accept it as "the" way if they haven't thought through the cost and heart components of it. Also, I'd really rather them put their time and energy into building a successful marriage rather than the ins and outs of the 4 c's and stretching their budget.
Because let's be honest about this, based on the divorce rate in our country the ability to afford a diamond ring may not actually be a good indicator for readiness to marry. 
 So why get another ring set? 
And why CZ?
Even though I have changed my opinion regarding the value of a diamond engagement ring, not everybody else has. I want people to be able to see that I'm married. Easily. 
Also, I like the sparkle. There I said it. It's ::pretty::...like glitter for your fingers. 
CZ has the sparkle without the crazy price so it seems best for me. 


What will we be doing with the old ring? 
When I get a chance, I'll be selling it to a jeweler to pull any value still in the ring out. I'm hoping that the platinum helps because research tells me the diamond's resale value it's very sparkly.

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