Tuesday, March 19, 2013

::bedtime bedlam::

My firstborn used to go to bed so easily.
I was a smug mommy.
I had pride in his consistency.
(as though it was my doing!)
Sure I created the routine and maintained it, but I've learned something recently.
You can lead a horse to water, but...you can't make a toddler go to sleep.

Yes, you can make them go to bed, but staying in bed...not so much.
And falling asleep...forget about it!
Looooong nights of work.
Lots of tears.
Lots of prayers.
Lots of failure.
Mixed in with some moements of success.

Sounds bad?
It felt bad.
No amount of anger or nasty mommy with my head spinning around made a difference.
No amount of prep-work in the form of praise, cheerleading, "I know you can do it".
No amount of back rubs, or staying in the room until he finally fell asleep.

Vivi was moved to her "new" bedroom this past weekend.
Dean was in his room by himself.
The plague had finally (mostly) lifted from our household, and it was time to start.

I choose Supernanny's Stay in Bed Technique.
I had tried it before...without success.
In the past I had hoped it would work quickly.
I had hoped that he'd comply.
I had hoped that my back wouldn't ache from it all.
It ended poorly with an angry, sore mommy.

This time, I choose prayer.
I chose to say in my mind each time he got up and whisper in the hallway in between times
"I will show him God's love every time."
Two long hours later he was asleep.

During those two hours I had a chance to pray over both of our babies.
And I had a chance to see God's love for me.
Meeting me where I am at every time.
Never failing.
Never stopping.
Wanting a better way for me.
Loving me with a realness that my love can only begin to imitate.
God's love for me was tangible each and every time I picked my little man up off of the floor, gently placed him in bed, and turned to walk away.

Last night, I feared the process.
I was tired.
I was cranky.
I was not feeling the most hopeful.
But I was committed.
5 or 6 times my little man needed me to lead him back to his bed.
I stood out in the hallway straining to hear any noises from his room...expecting the next time the door knob would turn...Silence.
Silence is golden!!!!!

Tonight will be another chance to show him God's love.
Another opportunity for me to make my actions match my words.
Each time either of the babies needs me, I will remember what I invest in the is an offering to God.

::sweet dreams and moonbeams::

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