Thursday, November 11, 2010

what's up doc?

So far, my experiences visiting the doctor with my little man have been both painless and pleasant. In fact, seeing as this was my first time venturing out of the house since Sunday...I was even looking forward to the trip. Too bad it was a terrible trip.
Problem 1: Getting ready to go to the office meant that I really needed to wash the yedi-scent I was sporting from a lack of showers. Dean was not thrilled with the idea of it. Screaming ensued. Apparently he thinks that's what I'm supposed to look/smell like. Poor kid.

Problem 2: When the appointment says 12:20 and you arrive at 12:15, you expect to be taken back to your room no later than 12:45. Reality: I didn't see the doctor until 1:20. Yes, I checked the clock (that's what you do when you have a screaming, inconsolable child and you're stuck in a room that is smaller than a closet).

Problem 3 and 4: Before the doctor comes in, you are asked to undress your sleeping baby. This means waking a newborn and doing the one thing he hates most- an undress/diaper change combo. This is when the crying started.

Good news- he's gained a pound! Seriously, everyone says that at the baby's 2 week appointment they hope that he's back up to birth weight. My son, has gained an entire pound in a fortnight. Good job, hon. Of course since I am his 24/7 personal dairy farm...I already knew that he had grown.

Problem 5: If you're still reading this, please forgive me but I have to be honest about what really set my son to the level of screaming that makes all new mom's flustered and sweaty- a rectal temperature reading. Poor guy. He hated it so much he decided to pee all over me and poop (again). On to diaper change number 2.

Problem 6: After you've violated my son and forced his mom to do two diaper changes, the least the doc could do is come into the room to finish the exam right away. Couldn't they hear the hysterical screams down the hallway??? After what seemed like forever, I decided to breastfeed Dean to calm him down. IT DIDN'T WORK. He was so bent out of shape, and I was so flustered that he coughed and gagged on the milk instead of filling his belly. What did happen is that I leaked milk all down my shirt and onto my jeans. Still no doctor...

Problem 7: Dean pooped again. I was not going to change him a third time though. Nor did I warn the doctor about the potential poop in the diaper- I let him discover that for himself.

Problem 8: I was so upset about all of the above problems that I couldn't even look at the doctor when he came in the room. He then proceeded to ask me if I had anyone who could help me with the baby. Are you serious?!? Way to make me feel like this screaming episode is my fault! Grrr. The only other eventful thing to note about this shady doctor's appointment was the answer to my "How soon can we take Dean out and about?" Any guesses to his answer? THREE MONTHS. Seriously? Seriously? I quickly filed that nugget of advice into the never going to happen file, got Dean's diaper changed a third time, dressed, and went out to make my one month appointment.

Next time, I'll be bringing back-up.


  1. I am so glad you're writing again, Sarah! I am excited to read about your adventures. Maybe it'll inspire me to start blogging again with some regularity. Keep it up!

  2. Welcome to the many wonderful adventures of "Mommyhood"! You're(and Dean) doing great! I love to read your blogs---they always make me laugh! Hope things are calmer today. :)
    Love you!


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